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Ruins

Title:  Ruins
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Warnings: It's not a happy ending.
Rating: PG
Pompt: #1 - Bella's Transformation Goes Wrong
Summary: Bella and Edward are both surprised to discover how quickly everything changed.

 Ruins


Edward’s P.O.V

I watched her helplessly. There was nothing left to do but wait. Two days had passed since I last saw the soft glow of her gentle brown eyes, as they slid closed under the anesthetic.  Even with her eyes closed she was still conscious enough to feel my cool lips press against her neck, just above her shoulder, and she sighed, a sweet humming of content.

“I’m sorry, I love you.” I whispered into her ear. 

“Love...too.” she mumbled back.

She gave one last sigh before slipping away into her final dreams. 

“She’s out.” Carlisle whispered. “I’m here if you want me to stay, and I’ll only be across the hall if you want me to go.”

“It’s ok, you can go for now.” I said, trying to keep my cool. 

He smiled at me, his face full of fatherly worry, not just for me, but for Bella too. No matter how reassuring he tried to keep his thoughts, I couldn’t help but be terrified. He put his arm on my shoulder gently, as he headed out of the room.

Finally my head grew quiet. Carlisle kindly stayed in a farther corner and did nothing more than listen to classical music, which played peacefully through my mind, from his. I turned to Bella, watching her every breath, every movement, praying to whoever would listen that she could be spared as much pain as possible. 

I slowly brought my lips back to the place on her neck...

“I’m sorry.” I whispered again. “For us...” I reminded myself. 

I hesitated, working up the courage to do what she had wanted for so long. I drew in one final breath, saturating my mind with her scent, and bit her.

 I sank my teeth into her neck, as long as I could to ensure she got as much venom as I could give without draining too much of her blood. It was easier than the last time I tasted her. It was every bit as intoxicating as before, but I was more controlled now, and I knew she would not die. I had set my mind to that.  I wanted the transformation to go as quickly as possible, to avoid any second of pain that I could. So I held on, listening to her heart beat. When I felt it slow considerably I let go, and wiped away the blood.

 I watched her carefully, waiting for any signs of the pain to register. She remained peaceful. I lay my head on her chest and listened to her heart, memorizing its rhythm, breathing in every last breath of her scent.

I sat up after a long time has passed. She seemed to be stirring, but remained asleep.  I stared at her face, loving every feature. Her cheeks burned pink when my icy fingers brushed them, and I smiled, feeling reassured. 

Her eyes suddenly flew open, they were dark, almost black and they were filled with agony. She stared at me her tortured gaze filled me with pain. I gripped her hand, trying to calm her.

“Bella, Bella, it’s ok. I am right here.” 

She didn’t seem to register I was there, but she stared at me anyways. I felt a stab of guilt as I realized she was in every ounce of agony that I had hoped to spare her. Her body convulsed violently and she let out a horrendous cry of pure anguish. Carlisle was at my side in an instant. He filled a syringe and quickly gave her the shot. She continued to scream.

Carlisle looked at me, his face filled with sorrow. “I had only hoped we could spare her this pain. I have nothing left I can give her without killing her completely. I am so sorry this didn’t work.” He thought. 

I nodded but didn’t look at him. I wouldn’t take my eyes of Bella. He turned to Bella, and pressed a cold hand to her cheek,

 “I am so sorry, my dear. I only wish I could help.” 

“Stop!! T’BURN!!!! Pleas’top t’BURNS!!!!!!” she begged incoherently.

He left with a look of complete helplessness muddling his features, and I sat there with her through every scream and convulsion filled second of those two days. 

She wasn’t screaming as much anymore, but her body writhed with the pain, and she panted desperately, moaning and crying. I watched her carefully as her body calmed. There was a little less than 24 hours left of this torture, and the physical changes were starting to be noticeable.

I felt her skin grow colder, harder, as I held her hand, firming into frozen steel, not unlike my own. I watched as her already pale skin, lightened to perfect, white porcelain. She looked like a doll of my Bella for a while, but as the day wore on, and the transformation came toward its end, I couldn’t see my Bella anymore. 

Her sweet animated features, although essentially the same took on an aura of perfection. Every hair on her head seemed to move with perfect grace. Her convulsions were like dancing rhythms, and soon her screams were of a perfectly tortured opera. So elegant and divine to the ears, yet so thoroughly anguished it could pierce your very soul.

I brushed my fingers across her cheek again, and was not greeted by the warm flushing of pink. I felt an instant pang of sorrow. I kissed her lips, usually warm and soft, were now hard and cold. I pressed my head onto her chest, desperately clinging to her humanity. I felt calm as I listened to her heart beating, but panic as I heard it slow with every beat.

I heard the last thump, waiting desperately for another... silence. 

I drew in a sharp breath.

“OH!” 

I couldn’t smell her anymore. I breathed her in again, she smelled divine, familiar, but not at all like Bella. Her scent mingled more closely with the way Alice, Esme and Rosalie smelled... I stumbled back, away from the bed and stared at her in complete horror. She was a stranger to me.

My Bella was dead. 

I hadn’t predicted this. I sank down onto the floor, my back against the wall. If I could cry, I would. I would cry for the loss of my beautiful Bella.

I watched her as she stirred. It was over she would soon awaken from her mortal life; a beautiful, immortal.

Her eyes flew open. Brilliant ruby iris’ searched the room, and stopped on me.

“Edward?” She said in an unfamiliar voice...like soft bells and sweet laughter.

I stood up and walked toward her, “I’m here.”

She looked at me anxiously, I could tell she wanted to get up; the strength of her newborn body was an overwhelming sensation. Exhilarating. She sat up, taking in a deep breath.

“Ohhh.” She hummed. “Edward, I want them.”

“I know.” Was all I could say, I didn’t meet her gaze.

We were in the middle of Alaska, as far from a human population as we could get, but that didn’t matter, she could smell them, hear their pulse, and knew she could be at them within a few minutes. She would have this amazing sense for the remainder of her immortal life, but it would not be nearly as potent as it is in her newborn body.

She immediately jumped out of the bed with newfound grace, her eyes blazing hungrily.

“I need to have them.”

“No,” I whispered, “Bella, remember. Please...”

I placed my hands on her shoulders to hold her back. I was too gentle, still treating her as if she were breakable. She pushed me down, and was at the door within the same second. But she paused.

“Edward...” She turned to me, her face filled with horror.

I looked away, feeling intense sorrow... and guilt. This was not my Bella. There was nothing left of her that was familiar.

But I had promised her forever...

She knelt on the floor next to me, and he turned to me finally. I searched her eyes; desperately trying to find my Bella in her unfamiliar face. I place my hand on her cheek, hoping to feel her. I watched her face grow surprised at my touch, and then crumple into confused grief.

She pulled my hand away, easily able to overcome my strength, and the revelation on her face was heartbreaking to us both.

I had never really taken into account how much of our relationship relied on her humanity. Her fragility, her pulse, her scent, the blushing of her cheeks; it had all been a key role in how I reacted to her. She didn’t need me to protect her anymore, and she didn’t look at me the same way anymore. Everything that had changed for me had clearly changed for her too.

 

She leaned in and kissed me, passionately not holding back, and I kissed her back for once not restraining her. She stopped suddenly, and we both pulled away.

I watched her face carefully, it was filled with confusion, and then regret.

I was a stranger to her.

We stared at each other, with complete helplessness, as we realized all our dreams, everything we’d fought for; our life, love, and forever, now lay in ruins.



Bella’s P.O.V

All I could remember was agony. I could feel the flames as they engulfed my flesh, burning away my humanity. At some point I began to feel a faint relief from the pain. I could feel my skin harden and grow cold against the fire. I could feel the thumping of my heart growing sluggish, struggling for each beat. Finally it quieted, and I could feel the changes immediately. The blood no longer pulsed through my veins, but I could feel my body absorbing it, my limbs growing stronger with it. It was exhilarating how powerful I felt.

I opened my eyes and scanned the room, stopping on Edward. He looked so miserable, but every bit as beautiful as I remembered him.

“Edward?” I whispered, my voice tinkling like musical bells.

He looked at me, his eyes were dark, but not quite black, and he tried, unsuccessfully to hide the pain in them. He stood up and walked to me,

“I’m here.” He whispered.

I found it hard to concentrate; my new body was so in tune with everything around me. I could hear the faintest sounds, and feel every cell in me with incredible intensity. I looked at him anxiously, waiting for him to look at me the way he always did. He didn’t. Frustrated, I took in a deep breath. Instantly smelling them. Instantly knowing where they were. I could pinpoint their pulse, and I wanted them. I needed them.

“Ohhh.” I hummed. “Edward, I want them.”

He didn’t look at me.

“I know.”

My mind raced, my senses filling my body with the need. I HAD TO HAVE THEM.  I jumped out of the bed, swiftly, gracefully.

“I need to have them.”

“No,” he whispered, “Bella, remember. Please...”

He put his hands on my shoulders, as if to hold me back. He was much too gentle, and I barely registered that he had touched me. I pushed him away, with more force than was necessary, and was at the door within the same second.

I paused there, realizing suddenly what had occurred. My mind wrestled with my instincts, as I tried to control myself. I felt stunned. Not by my urges, but at how quickly I had overcome him.

“Edward...” I whispered; my musical voice filled with regret.

I turned to him, looking at him in horror. He didn’t return my gaze, but looked dejectedly at the floor instead. I looked at him, angrily. He looked so pathetic. Where was my Edward?

I knelt on the floor next to him, and he turned to me finally. He searched my eyes; he looked so desperate to find something there. He brought his hand to my cheek, his eyes were so pained.

I was shocked. His touch, which normally brought an instant flushing, and left behind a soft tingle, felt nothing more than hard and cold. His hand molded to my face perfectly, gently, and I couldn’t find anything familiar in its touch.

I pulled his hand down with my own, and was again stunned at my own strength. It had at first thrilled me, but suddenly I felt only remorse.

My entire relationship with Edward had been so dependant on how he made me feel. He kept me safe, and guarded, protected. I had never realized how much the physical aspect of it had mattered. He was just as beautiful to my eyes, but that was the only part of him that was familiar.  He no longer held me in awe of his beauty and grace, for I presently surpassed him in both. He didn’t need to protect me anymore, for I was more than capable of doing that myself.

I could feel my Edward slipping away. Deep down beneath everything my new body desired I could still feel my love for him. I desperately needed to find him.

I leaned in and kissed him, passionately not holding back, and he kissed me back for once not restraining me. I stopped suddenly, and we both pulled away.

My heart remained silent. It didn’t beat as though it would burst, I didn’t grow dizzy, and I didn’t gasp for breath. The kiss was every bit like our other kisses, but where my human body filled me with overwhelming sensations, my newborn body fell short. My vampire senses were unlike anything I’d ever felt, but I would trade it all back if I could only feel him the way I could remember. I knew I would never feel that again.

When my body died, so did my Edward.

I looked away, feeling intense sorrow... and guilt. This was not my Edward. I longed desperately for his touch, but he felt like a stranger to me.

But I had promised him forever...

We stared at each other, with complete helplessness, as we realized all our dreams, everything we’d fought for; our life, love, and forever, now lay in ruins.


 


Writers Notes:
This is not how I HOPE things will go, but I feel it is a very real possibility. I adore Edward and Bella together, but Edward has done nothing but break his promises to her. So what is one more?



 

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
koinaka
Feb. 17th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
Heart-breaking, but good. I feel like something like this could happen too. My biggest fear is that she won't remember him at all.... that would be TERRIBLE.
jaleco
Feb. 17th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you, :D

Ya there are so many possibilities that I do not like... I don't think Steph will do the really bad ones tho. I think she wants it to ne happy-ish.
koinaka
Feb. 17th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
I know. That's why we (as fanfiction authors) have to torment her characters ourselves. What's the fun in a happy ending?
jaleco
Feb. 17th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
hahah. It's funny because it's true.

Ooooh the torment of fan fic.
emmamemma
Feb. 18th, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to have to leave a commet like this but the rules do say that you are only aloud to have one chapter fics...
It's a good story, but either me or hailey will have to delete it if you don't fix it.

Sorry. It is a good story.
jaleco
Feb. 18th, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
Sorry, I could have sworn the rules didn't say anything about chapters.

If I change it all I will do it take out the title "Chapters"

if that's not acceptable than delete it.
jaleco
Feb. 18th, 2008 12:28 am (UTC)
I just re-read the rules. I totally misread it as " but all fics must be (at least) one chapter" I have a weird habit of adding words.

Again tho, I won't change the story, but just remove the chapters, so delete if that's not ok.
emmamemma
Feb. 18th, 2008 10:45 pm (UTC)
nope. no problem :)
We can just blaim hailey on all of this...she did put all of the rules on here and didn't really make them readable :D
I think your story was really great :)
ashlerose
Feb. 19th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
I thought the rules were perfectly readable, actually.
jaleco
Feb. 19th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
Oh I agree. It was my own mistake misreading them, the smaller the font the more frequently I do it. But the wording was clear.
haileykatherine
Feb. 22nd, 2008 02:55 am (UTC)
uh..yeah bitch.
i dont see you doing anything, little miss "oh, let me be part of the fic-a-thon i will do such a good job and not neglect my responsibilties!"
jaleco
Feb. 19th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
Oh good, I am glad. It isn't really even 2 chapters anyways, just two different points of view. I had actually just added in the chapter titles before I posted, just a last minute decision.

I think the rules are worded clearly, but I think the tiny text and light colour may have attributed to it, I have a difficult time SEEING the words lol.


All in all, I am happy it all worked out, and I am glad you enjoyed my story.
haileykatherine
Feb. 22nd, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
haha
Don't worry about it :)
I'm glad you posted it, I really enjoyed your story.
jaleco
Feb. 22nd, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
Thank You.

:D
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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